“The finest souls are those who gulped pain and avoided making others taste it”
Some of you thought I quit photography and closed down my business? Yikes! No, I definitely did not.
Yes, I have had a rough few years. Yes, I had absolutely left social media. I was able to meet with clients and create some of my most magical work to date, however I decided that I was not able to share it on social media at that time. I am just a real girl. So real, that if I tried to write during my healing, the words would have been bleeding. It's hard to suck up your pain and face the world as if nothing traumatic has ever taken you down. But I did. I did it in pain, I did it while sick, I did it alone. And when it came to social media, I could not write.
"I wanted to write down exactly what I felt but somehow the paper stayed empty and I could not have described it any better."
I will never forget this day. It was my last beach session before I was to permanently move back to my parent's house after being discarded by my husband. My incredible assistant/cheerleader/life-support, Danielle, was there with me and what I needed most from her on this day was moral support. I was down to 86 pounds at the time. My cameras were almost heavier than me! My clients had no clue that I was not only in the middle of a devastating health issue, but also the most traumatic event of my life, and suddenly losing everything I had worked so hard for. I smiled and directed, I complimented how great they were doing, we made these beautiful images while Danielle was whispering in my ear, “you got this, girl”, “You are doing great”. We fanned the tears from my eyes so they wouldn't be able to see that I was upset. But truthfully, I was at that moment with this family, saying goodbye to the life I loved. I am proud of how I made it through that day. I am grateful for Danielle. And my clients, who placed a big order after their gallery was delivered. I can hear them now saying, “Oh... that was why our photographer was so teary eyed during our session.”
I am still here, I am still in business, I am still shooting. I have lots to share. I wanted to write about these images and this day for a long time and I'm glad I was able to write a little today. Thankfully, I kinda think these images really do speak for themselves.